Grief & the Infinity Stones
If you’ve kept up with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, then chances are you’ve experienced some heavy feelings. I am, of course referring to Infinity War and Endgame, which are excellent films if you haven’t seen them yet.
After watching them again (after the initial shock were off), I found some truly powerful depictions of very common experiences. Specifically, grief. God knows that both movies were packed with plenty of reasons to feel grief. Woof.
Just a fair warning: There are spoilers for Endgame for those of you that have yet to see it.
Final warning!
Endgame had an intriguing scene after the Avengers retrieved the stones. Of course, the Soul Stone required a sacrifice and we see an short “exchange” between Clint and Natasha. Ultimately Natasha wins (or loses depending on how you look at it), and sacrifices herself for the cause.
The intriguing aspect of this is the reaction of the remaining Avengers as they try to process their loss. It’s in this scene that we see clear examples of the Stages of Grief, as described in the Kubler-Ross Model. Most people are familiar with the Five Stages of Grief.
Denial: Refusing to accept what has happened. Minimizing the loss.
Anger: Frustration over what happened, and an outpouring of emotions.
Bargaining: Wishing it was different, and mapping out ways things could have been.
Depression: Facing the reality of the loss.
Acceptance: Learning to move forward and to live while also valuing the loss.
Following the “time-heist” where the Avengers gathered the stones, we see them on a dock grieving the loss of one of there own. It’s during this scene that we see representations of each of the Stages of Grief.
Tony asks about getting in touch with Natasha’s family, and letting them know (Acceptance).
Thor quite lightly asks what the problem is, and suggests that they have the stones and can bring her back (Denial and a hint of Bargaining).
Clint becomes agitated and challenges Thor (Anger) to use his “magic hammer” to go and talk with the “floating red guy” to figure things out (Bargaining).
Cap sits solemnly (Depression), and Hulk is quite during the entire scene. Eventually Hulk throws a bench over the lake the scene takes place in (Anger).
Anger, Denial, Depression, and Acceptance are fairly easy to spot and understand. A person is angry, saddened, dismissive, or at peace with loss. Bargaining, however, is more complicated. The bargaining stage often sounds like:
“If only…”
“If I could…”
“What about…”
“It could have been…”
Bargaining is an attempt at understanding and explaining the loss, while exploring alternatives. It is also an expression of remorse and grief.
The Stages of Grief serves only as a model for conceptualizing the experience of grief. Not everyone goes through every stage, nor does everyone go through them in the same order or for the same amount of time.
Grief is the emotional experience a person has due to the loss of a loved one, or a relationship, or an idea. It is important to understand that grief does not apply to death only; I’ve worked with many people who grieve the loss of a relationship; a goal, such as not getting a coveted job or opportunity; family issues, such as infertility. Each of these can lead to feelings of grief.
Grief is one of the most common concerns among clients that come to counseling. While the expression of grief can vary wildly (i.e., bereavement), the experience of grief is one that is recognized by everyone. San Antonio, Texas is an incredibly diverse and multicultural city, with a large veteran population. Grief counseling is a process that considers those rich, cultural differences and helps people towards acceptance while respecting and upholding those cultural values.
Whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one or the loss of a dream, I would be honored to help. Level Up Counseling can work with you via tele-health to help you achieve peace and acceptance.
For more information or to ask any questions, click on the “Contact” link.